


You've Still Got Me

by JustSmileStuffHappens (ksz13)



Series: Buddie / 9-1-1 Prompt Fills [49]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Abandonment, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Arguing, Blood and Injury, Bruises, Cage Fights, Canon-Typical Violence, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Concussions, Confessions, Confusion, Control Issues, Depression, Doubt, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Drunk Driving, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, False Accusations, Fights, Fist Fights, Foiled Confessions, Friendship/Love, Gen, Head Injury, Help, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hot Weather, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Memory Loss, Minor Violence, Mistakes, Misunderstandings, Mixed Martial Arts, No Sex, No Smut, Non-Graphic Violence, Post-Match, References to Depression, Relationship Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Destruction, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Therapy, Trust Issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Violence, Vomiting, Words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:07:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24635047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksz13/pseuds/JustSmileStuffHappens
Summary: *Prompt: Post-lawsuit Eddie wins a fight but his rage isn't budging. With Chris at Abuela's, Eddie shows up at Buck's place. Buck is actually in no mood and tries to close the door when Eddie forces his way in and starts unloading on him. Buck is hurt to his core but instead of breaking, Buck snaps and verbally decimates Eddie in turn. Their tempers boil over and they are on each other, punching, kicking, almost bone-breaking which becomes bruising kisses, harsh bites, and cathartic lovemaking.*
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Buddie / 9-1-1 Prompt Fills [49]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582147
Comments: 6
Kudos: 200





	You've Still Got Me

**Author's Note:**

> *altered the prompt a lot. Here's my take. I've seen a few other stories like that.

**_You've Still Got Me_ **

  
  


The crowd cheered. Eddie felt alive. He felt something. His opponent was on their back trying to get up.

He heard them but he didn't hear them. The chanting for more fighting, more blood, just, more. An endless desire and thirst.

The guy got a few good hits in on him but Eddie kept going. It was drilled into his very soul, not just his head, don't ever stop. 

Nothing was taking him down. Not the slight ringing or the bruises forming on his skin. He hadn't lost a single match yet and Eddie wasn't planning to anytime soon either.

The guy got up and waited regaining his breath. Eddie came closer, slowly, ready to finish it. 

He blocked the punches the guy threw and caught his leg. Eddie had the other guy on his back again. This time he hit him a few solid times to his torso as he tried to block his head with his arms. He knew he'd give any minute now.

Finally he forfeited and they heard as the onlookers booed at the turn of events. They wanted more. It wasn't a spectacle if more than one person was able to stand.

Eddie left the ring but it didn't leave him. He still felt the thrum in his body. The win was hollow. 

He didn't care. Fuck. What was he even doing? 

People started to leave after his match. He and his truck blended in with them as they left. 

It was an anticipated thing to watch his matches, others liked to see them. It filled Eddie with a sick pride. He was good at something at least. Even if most wouldn't get it or look down on it.

He'd take these small moments of feeling in control over the empty feeling he had inside as things happened around him that he had no power over anyday.

He didn't even notice when he was over halfway there. His home was in the opposite direction. He was headed to-

It was a bad idea. But then again Eddie had been making plenty of mistakes lately. What was another to add to the list, right?

The glare of the other cars and street lights were irritating his eyes as he drove on. A voice in his head tried but was ignored.

The beer and adrenaline drove his body and truck for him. In a single direction. Towards-

He wasn't even sure what he was doing anymore. But that wasn't a new feeling. He'd never hurt Buck, not like he'd hurt him. But he'd give him a piece of his mind, finish that conversation.

* * *

Buck wet his face in front of the mirror. His building's AC was dead. What were they paying for if it wasn't fixed as soon as possible really?

The sweating had been horrible for him earlier. The residual heat wasn't as bad now but still caused some unease.

He had to leave his balcony door open for even the slightest occasional breeze to come in.

Buck left the restroom. He needed to turn off his lights so he could get some sleep. Or at least try to. It was late already.

He was finally back upstairs and in bed. The soft sheets he usually loved felt suffocating tonight though. He went bare in his thinnest muscle shirt and light sleep pants. It barely helped.

Banging on his door got him up just as he was about to fall asleep.

Someone had better need help or his neighbor was going to get a solid fuck you with the door closing. Buck wasn't in the mood.

They sometimes thought Buck stole their mail but it wasn't his fault he got it by mistake though.

He came downstairs with only his bedroom light just barely illuminating past the loft.

"Who is it? Mr. Cole it's late." Buck opened the door.

It wasn't Mr. Cole, Buck came face to face with Eddie.

Why was he knocking-? Oh right. He'd given back Buck's key during the lawsuit and Buck hadn't gotten a chance to give it back since they weren't on good terms just yet either.

"Huh?" He honestly thought that he had fallen asleep maybe.

Why would Eddie be there? He was still avoiding Buck. Only talking to him in forced situations with radio silence soon after.

"Why are you here?" It came out harsher than he intended but yeah Eddie's words before had hurt buck too.

"You! You're here then you're gone. Do you know how much I- we needed you?" Eddie said, it was both rushed and too loud.

"Eddie. I want to talk, not argue with you. Look, you're gonna wake up my neighbors man. Go home Ed-" Buck moved to close the door.

He didn't want this. He hated fighting. This would only end in a harsh back and forth, he could tell. 

What was Eddie even wearing? He was decked out in a hoodie in this heatwave at night.

Eddie's shoe blocked the door. Buck smelled his breath as he pushed it. 

"Are you drunk?" Buck asked as Eddie pushed the door open.

This was a different side of Eddie he hadn't seen before. He'd gotten drunk before but it was nothing like this though.

"I had a few, so what?" Eddie shot back as he pushed the door closed behind him.

"I'll talk to you when you're sober Eddie. Where's Chris?" Buck asked.

Eddie was driving while possibly drunk and out this late at night?

"You don't get to say his name. You left!" Eddie accused.

"I didn't leave! I was here the entire time. I didn't want any of that," Buck said.

Great now Buck was shouting too. The heat wasn't helping him. 

"I trusted you! I was so stupid."

"I trusted you too. I don't mean for it to be like that okay? I didn't know he'd do that or say any of it. After the tsunami you were busy with Christopher. I know that, but it still hurt finding out I was replaced. You didn't tell me. I had to find out for myself," 

"I couldn't talk to you." Eddie poked at Buck's chest. "Chris couldn't talk to you." He did it again.

"Stop. That was after- I would have answered. You know I would, or I'd call you back if you texted about Christopher," Buck batted his arm away.

"You're just like- You're just like m-" Eddie moved to shove Buck. 

Whether it was the alcohol or not he stumbled. Buck acting on instinct tried to catch him. 

They both came down onto the tile. It hurt like hell. They each grunted.

Buck shook his head to rid himself of the thought that Eddie was on top of him. No. Not now.

In the dull moonlight coming from his drawn blinds buck finally saw Eddie's face better.

There was the edge of a bruise peeking out from under his hood, his lip was cut up too, and his eyes w- no.

Buck moved to touch Eddie's face but felt Eddie grab his wrist.

"Eddie, did you get in a bar fight?" Buck asked.

He'd been drinking. Check.

His knuckles were bruised along with his temple too. Check.

"It's none of your business." Eddie shot back, going to get up.

Buck got up quickly to follow.

"Eddie, wait." He grabbed for his wrist to stop him from leaving.

Eddie grabbed Buck's wrist but stood still there. His grip faltered. His face showed confusion and pain on it.

"I think you have a concussion. No. I'm almost sure you have one. What happened Eddie?" Buck looked at him, waiting.

It didn't matter if Eddie hated him for it Buck needed to help him. He had to get him help now.

They were locked there heavily breathing from their actions. 

"I was- when did I get here? Why am I here?" Eddie asked. 

His facial expressions told buck it wasn't a lie. Shit.

He looked past Buck to the living room then up at the loft. 

"Buck?"

"We need to get you to the hospital." Buck told him. "Sit right here." Buck put the chair behind him. 

Eddie had long let go of Buck's wrist but reached out again this time more out of fear.

"I just need my shoes." Buck said, reassuring him as he saw the action Eddie took. "I'm right here." 

His keys were by the door so once he was ready all he had to do was get Eddie and leave.

"Buck where's Christopher?" Eddie sounded panicked.

"You didn't tell me. We'll check your phone. But right now you need to get to the hospital." He got Eddie up and made sure to stay close in case he stumbled.

Once they were in the jeep and Eddie was belted in he took out his phone. Thankfully with facial ID and fingerprint detection Eddie didn't have to think about his password. 

Buck knew he changed it every few months and he couldn't help since they hadn't talked much in a few weeks. 

Eddie pulled up his messages to look through them. It gave him a task to focus on even if reading the screen was hurting his eyes. 

"He's with Pepa." Eddie said, while seeing the text that he was finally in bed over two hours ago.

Buck felt the same relief Eddie did as he tried to focus on the road. They didn't need him to get into any accident right now.

He was making sure his turn was clear when he heard it.

Eddie was throwing up any beer and food he'd had earlier.

"It's okay. You're gonna be okay." Buck said while speeding up.

At a red light he looked over to see Eddie hunched over.

Buck patted and rubbed his back earning a hiss in return. What?

"Hurts." Eddie breathed out.

"Why?" Buck lifted up his hoodie and shirt to see more bruising. Go figure. Buck hadn't thought it was all over Eddie's body. "I'm sorry. Just breathe. We're almost there." Buck was really worried now.

He ran the next red light. Thankfully no one saw and he didn't hit anyone or get hit.

  
  


* * *

They were in the waiting room. Another patient took priority with being stabbed so Buck got Eddie a cup of water and told him to stay put for both their sakes.

Eddie swished some of the liquid in his mouth and spit into the trash can before drinking it.

"They're going to ask what happened. I don't want to lie but I will- but tell me the truth Eddie. It doesn't even have to be me but tell somebody. You can't work tomorrow so Bobby needs to know Eddie." Buck said from his seat beside him. The room was empty.

He'd done most of the talking. Buck had detailed the injuries but neglected to mention how Eddie had gotten them though. 

Eddie's wallet had his insurance card and buck knew most of his information for the forms.

"You wouldn't understand." Eddie groaned hiding his eyes from the assaulting fluorescents.

"Maybe you're right but we won't know until you tell me though." Buck pleaded.

His mind wandered to what could have happened to cause this on top of what might have happened if Eddie hadn't come to argue with him or went home.

Eddie could have passed out or even crashed his truck.

"I- I just wanted to feel-" Eddie said quietly.

If buck weren't so close and tuned in to Eddie's voice he might not have heard him.

"To feel free? I don't fucking know anymore. To let go?" He said.

Buck didn't have much time to think about that or reply as Eddie was finally called to be looked at.

* * *

Was Eddie an alcoholic? Was he picking bar fights on purpose? 

Buck didn't know what to believe. He saw Eddie and heard him but it felt like this was some fucked up dream. 

It wasn't a nightmare yet though because usually for him they involved the people he loved dying and Eddie was still alive.

Bobby hadn't answered so Buck had called Athena's phone ready to apologize for disturbing their sleep but he needed help, Eddie needed help, and he wasn't sure if he could help him alone.

"Buck what the hell do you think y-?"

"Eddie needs help!" Buck cut in. He'd feel bad about interrupting Bobby later but he had to make sure to get his point across before Bobby could hang up.

"What?!"

He heard what was probably Athena beside him whispering.

"We're at the hospital by my place. He's pretty banged up. The doctor's got him but I'm more worried about how he got hurt because I remember seeing bruises before."

"I'll be right there."

"Thank you. I'm sorry." Buck said as he looked up in the direction Eddie had been guided in.

Bobby had hung up before he could say anything else about Buck not needing to be sorry. He had to get dressed and tell Athena he'd be back later.

* * *

It was over ten minutes later when Buck saw Bobby coming through the doors into the waiting room.

"Any news?"

"No. I asked but the nurse gave me this weird look and said they weren't at liberty to tell me." Buck had even tried to use the fact he was a firefighter and worked with Eddie but nothing.

"I'll talk to them. What do you know from before you brought him in?" Bobby asked.

"He's got a cut lip and bruising. Eddie's breath smelled like he'd had a few and he admitted it to me. I don't know why or with who but i know he got into a fight, I'm not sure if it was more than one person because the bruises look like some are old. A different fight maybe."

"Ok." Bobby nodded.

"He, his eyes told me he had a concussion and he threw up after he was confused and stumbling. I thought it was the beer but, maybe it was the concussion instead,"

"Damn. Sit back. I'm sure they're doing everything they can for him now. I'm gonna see if they'll tell me anything else."

Buck watched as Bobby walked up to the nurse at the desk and tried to finesse any information.

He came back with little else. They told him Eddie was being checked out.

He wouldn't stop asking for Christopher and Buck. But he was becoming more aware than he'd been upon being brought in.

Eddie wouldn't explain his injuries so they weren't ruling out anything that an officer would have to look into.

"They think I did it?" Buck asked.

"They didn't say that." Bobby told him while shaking his head.

"They don't have to. I brought him in. He came to my place like that but- fuck. Is that why they didn't at least tell me he was okay?" Buck asked.

"Don't go thinking that. We don't know for sure what they're thinking about."

"It's the only logical thing I can come up with. They think I know what happened and I'm not telling them or that I did that to him. Think about it Bobby. How does it look from the outside?"

"It looks like a close friend came to you when they needed help and they got it. If he passed out behind the wheel or alone at home then it could have been a lot worse buck but it's not."

Buck scoffed. "It's still bad. I saw the signs, Bobby. He had bruises in plain study. He lashed out at the market like that. It wasn't normal for him. Eddie's not usually like that. I didn't see it until it was almost too late."

Bobby waited for buck to look up from the floor at him.

"We're going to help Eddie. You brought him here and care buck. Focus on that, okay?"

Buck sighed. 

He'd try not to dwell on the possibilities, the what ifs. But he knew it was a matter of time. That's just how his mind worked.

* * *

Eddie was finally allowed to have a visitor. 

The doctor's told Bobby he could come in first at Eddie's request.

Buck's heart dropped at that. He couldn't blame Eddie. He'd let him down, unintentionally but still.

Bobby went to Eddie's room while Buck got up. 

He could use a drink and wet his face. Why did the hospital have to be so damn cold?

* * *

After about twenty minutes, not that buck was counting on purpose, Bobby came out.

"He wants to see you. I've gotta make a few calls for his alternate among other things. Room 414."

Buck got up and found his way.

Eddie was propped up in a bed.

"Hey." Buck said like there was really any other way to begin their conversation after all that.

"I need to tell you something." Eddie said.

"I'm all ears." Buck sat beside Eddie's bed.

"I'm gonna be out for a couple of days. Okay?"

"I kinda figured that." Buck said with a shrug.

"I- I'm sorry I came barging in. I don't- I mean I know what I did but- I shouldn't have done it. You didn't deserve that Buck,"

"You weren't thinking right." 

Buck gave, offering him an out.

"No. I- I don't want to feel like that again. And that's not an excuse," 

Eddie didn't take it. 

"It was a little scary. I thought you were gonna pass out or- You weren't you." Buck bit his lip. "I know you'd never hurt me. The same way I'd never hurt you." Buck was telling the truth.

"Thanks for bringing me in." Eddie looked so tired, defeated.

"No. It's what a friend would do, even if I wasn't a good one or you don't want me to be yours." Buck closed his eyes.

"I don't deserve a friend like you Buck." Eddie sighed.

"It's funny because I don't think I deserve to be your friend. After what you said, you were right."

Eddie moved closer and paid for it with a hiss. 

"Careful. They'll think I hurt you more." Buck laughed but it was so hollow it hurt to hear. 

"No they won't. Bobby told me and we cleared it up. And don't think for a second we don't want you in our lives. We want to be in yours too Buck," Eddie looked into Buck's eyes purposely.

Buck sighed. "So you're gonna be okay?"

"I gotta stay for observation until tomorrow but then I can get out. And I'm not back on duty until I'm 100% so I'll be out most of the week." 

Eddie didn't say how that included therapy aside from his body physically healing.

"Mind if I stay? Or would you rather I go?" Buck asked.

"We've got some catching up to do." Eddie said while getting more comfortable in bed.

"Can I see Chris someday?" 

Not today. Not tomorrow. But-

"Yeah. I think he'd like that. I'm sorry about your jeep."

"It should wash out. Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're gonna be okay." Buck said.

"Whose this Cole guy?"

Buck let out a breath. "Let me start off with 'I don't hate him' but I really want him to move." Buck laughed a bit. 

Eddie laughed at that. It hardly hurt when he did this time. 

He nodded for Buck to continue.

Buck told him how out of all his neighbors who he got along with very nicely, Mr. Cole just didn't like him. 

Buck tried just avoiding him to save them both the trouble but sometimes got his mail on accident or had to ask for his own.

Ms. Fitzgerald had once said it was because Buck looked like a man in his life that he hated. 

Buck couldn't tell if it was referring to an ex or family.

Finally Eddie told him about what Christopher had been up to at school before he'd been checked once again by a nurse.

"It's time Mr. Diaz got some rest. Are you ready to leave now sir?' The nurse directed at buck.

"I- uh. I guess i-"

"He can stay. I want him to stay." Eddie said with finality.

"Okay Mr. Diaz. We'll be back to check on you in an hour and wake you in a few for some more tests."

With that she was gone.

"I forgot you had work tomorrow. Sorry." Eddie apologized.

"I want to stay. I'll make sure to leave with enough time to get ready. But you'll probably need to call for a ride though since I'll be at work." Buck apologized.

"Don't worry, I'll manage. There's always a blanke-" Eddie began.

Buck was already up to grab a spare blanket from the closet. 

"I know." He smiled back.

Buck came over to lay on the couch after moving it a bit closer.

"Did I ever tell you about what me and Maddie found in our attic this one time?" Buck asked

"No." Eddie shook his head gently.

"So we're playing hide and seek right? I was always really good at being quiet and staying still."

Eddie chuckled at the thought. Buck was always so alive and talked excitedly to everyone. It was hard to imagine Buck as a kid being anything different.

"I got this idea to climb up into the attic. Don't ask me why though."

Eddie was asleep before Buck got to tell him about the skunk.

Or how he had to take a tomato bath in the summer heat. 

He'd tell him later. 

Buck watched Eddie sleep for a bit. He didn't look as bad but buck knew it'd take time.

He'd be there for Eddie this time like Eddie had been there with Christopher for him before.

Buck had this feeling that Eddie would tell him eventually. He didn't want to push too much yet but if he had to he would.

Buck's eyes grew heavy as he was almost sure Eddie had this smile on his face for a second. 

They'd wake up after dawn. Buck needed a shower and a change of clothes before work so he left.

Eddie would stay behind still needing to be cleared for his release.

When Buck found out about the truth he tried not to throw it in Eddie's face and point out how dangerous it was. What Eddie's consequences could have been.

He knew he didn't have to when he saw Eddie's face as he told the others privately at work. 

"Buck wait up." Eddie said before he left the firehouse. 

He still wasn't back on duty and was headed home now.

He pulled something out of his jacket. 

Buck took it. 

"He said to make sure you got it. Maybe you can come by later today or tomorrow."

The card read. 'You're my favorite firefighter after dad. You save people all the time' - Christopher. He had drawn buck in his gear.

"Yeah. Thanks. I'll swing by later." Buck said. "Oh. Before I forget." Buck rummaged through his pocket.

He pulled out his key ring and worked off his spare.

"You'll be needing this back." Buck grinned.

Eddie placed his fingers on it but didn't take it from Buck yet.

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yeah. I'll see you later." Buck let go knowing Eddie wouldn't drop it. 

He patted Eddie's arm gently in one of the few spots he knew weren't bruised before leaving.

Buck looked back with a smile on the stairs while Eddie stood there.

Eddie nodded at him, while maintaining eye contact. 

He was lucky he hadn't messed things up worse for himself, for Christopher- for Buck.

In an odd way going to Buck's was the right thing to do if not for what he'd intended to say than for what had happened when Buck saw him. 

Eddie was glad he still had him.

He didn't or couldn't know that buck felt the same about them.

But he did.


End file.
